I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize