You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
