i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
