Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
