so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
