So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
