I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
