ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Enjoy the penises
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
