One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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