I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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