Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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