I wannas sexs uuuuu
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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