I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
