I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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