their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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