I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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