When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize