The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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