shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
