Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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