You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Randomize
