ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
