Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
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