All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
