ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
