My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
