On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
