brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
