you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
