I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
