is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize