Tell her she can't have a vagina
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
