he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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