Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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