it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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