so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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