Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
