gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
