Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
