That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
