So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize