foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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