i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
