fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
