I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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