I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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