Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Randomize