Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
