I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
