I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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