Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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