i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
