The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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