Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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