im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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