Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
