it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
