lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
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