'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
