Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
