so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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