***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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