On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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