So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
