the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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