Im at strip club and am horny
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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